A Vow Renewal Ceremony
A Wedding Celebrant’s Perspective
Carla & Zeus: A Love reaffirmed – Five years of Marriage, Forever to Go.
On a golden September day, Carla and Zeus, with their closest family and their two precious dogs, stood hand in hand once more – not at the beginning of their journey, but beautifully nestled in the middle of it.
Five years after saying, ‘ I do’, they came together again on 14th September 2024, at The Old Dance Hall a beautifully, restored barn, just outside Wells, to renew their vows. They were celebrationg, not only the milestone of half a decade of marriage, but the love, growth and unwavering partnership that has developed between them.
This year, around a quarter of my bookings are for Vow Renewal Ceremonies. They are really gaining in popularity. This is in part due to the growing trend among many famous celebrities for renewing their marriage vows. As we can see on their social media, these have ranged from extremely lavish ceremonies, to small and intimate gatherings.
Vow renewal ceremonies are not just for the rich and famous. Above all, they do not have to be lavish affairs. What is important is the meaning behind the vows themselves, and their significance in a couple’s marriage.
Carla and Zeus chose to have an intimate ceremony, however, in the late afternoon, they were being joined in their celebrations, by lots of family and friends.
As a wedding celebrant, I have led many Vow Renewal Ceremonies. Each one is unique and special, and what is meaningful are the reasons why a couple decide to renew the vows they made to each other on their wedding day.
Carla and Zeus chose to have their vow renewal ceremony, to celebrate the fact that they have shared the joys, blessings and challenges of married life for five years. They wished to re-confirm their commitment to working together, to make their marriage grow and blossom in the years to come.
Their ceremony, and the renewing of the vows they took to become husband and wife, on their wedding day, served to remind them that, despite the inevitable stresses in everyday life, their love and commitment to one another will continue to increase and heighten their joy of living.
Despite the many different reasons a couple may choose to renew their vows, they all share the same sentiment. For, no matter how long ago they made their marriage vows, this is the most perfect time for them to renew them.
Some Reasons to Have a Vow Renewal Ceremony
1. To commemorate a milestone anniversary
As part of their ceremony, many couples like to take a nostalgic look back at their ‘courting days.’ This has included replaying the music they loved. In addition they may mention the pubs and nightclubs they used to frequent. Similarly, laugh about their first car, the trendy clothes, the full head of hair!!
2 If you were not able to have the wedding ceremony you wanted.
Many couples feel that their wedding ceremony did not reflect who they were as a couple. For example, that they were considered too young to have much say in their wedding day. That it was taken over by their parents.
Similarly, others regretted having a church wedding when they were not at all religious. Whilst others felt their registry office wedding was prescriptive and impersonal.
More recently, many couples’ dreams for a large, lavish wedding were ruined with Lockdown. A Renewal of Vows ceremony will give them the ceremony they missed out on.
I think that Carla and Zeus enjoyed their wedding day so much, they just wanted a repeat of it!
3. To celebrate your ability to stay strong after a difficult time
Life is certainly like a box of chocolates. When we marry, we embark on life together, not knowing what the future holds.
Renewal of vows ceremonies are often for couples who have experienced some difficult or tragic times during their marriage. Maybe one person has had to rely more heavily on the other. Or they have had to pull really hard together to get through some extremely tragic circumstances.
In the words of Carla and Zeus:
“Not one marriage is perfect, and as you continue this union, you already know the love and work to maintain your relationship. Many couples think of a marriage as 50/50. In actuality, the best relationships are 90/10. If you both give 90% and only take 10%, then you will have a formula likely to bring both of you happiness for the rest of your lives.”
These vow renewal ceremonies are a wonderful celebration of the strength of a couple. A reaffirming of the commitment of their marriage vows. So they are often the most joyous, fun filled occasions, full of laughter and happiness.
‘
let your love be stronger than your anger
learn the wisdom to compromise, for it is better to bend than to break
believe the best of your beloved rather than the worst
confide in your partner and ask for help when you need it
remember true friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship
give your spouse the same courtesies as you would expect yourself
say I love you every day, however you can
And with love in your hearts and stars in your eyes, through thick and thin, in laughter and tears, may your renewed love shine bright for all your years.
4 A new beginning
Sometimes, couples decide to draw a line on what’s gone before. Maybe things have happened in the marriage which were not good. However, the couple still love each other and want very much to save their marriage. So, they want to reaffirm their commitment to each other, and move forward.
Therefore, these vow renewal ceremonies often act as reminder of why a couple chose to get married in the first place. In addition it enables them to relive the moments and feelings they once felt, during their wedding.
5 A bit more cash to splash second time round
Many couples look back to their wedding day and remember having a limited budget, and being downright skint. Above all, they didn’t have the wedding they’d dreamed of having.
One couple said they always regretted that there wasn’t the big white dress, tiara, or beautiful bouquet. Similarly, no new wedding suit. Above all, their guest list was extremely short. The reception consisted of some sandwiches and sausage rolls in a drafty skittle alley. Therefore, they promised each other that one day they would have the wedding of their dreams. One with all the fancy trimmings. In fact, the first thing one husband did for his vow renewal ceremony was to buy himself a wedding ring. He’d always hated the fact that for twenty-five years of marriage he’d never had one. In addition, he also bought an amazing ring for his wife.
Their vow renewal ceremony truly reflected a couple who had worked hard together over the years of their marriage. From starting with very little they had built a business, done well and prospered. Most importantly, they appreciated all that they had and that life had been good to them. Above all, they wanted to share this with their friends.
6 Celebrating your family
It’s lovely to include your children in your ceremony. There are so many different and special ways to do this.
Carla’s daughter, as well as being her bridesmaid, shared a beautiful reading that she had written, especially for the ceremony. Her partner shared the poem that he’d read on their wedding day. ‘What is Piglet Without Pooh’.
Similarly, another couple pledged their continual love and support to their children in their vows.
Some children have treated their parents to a vow renewal ceremony for a significant wedding anniversary. A wonderful and loving gesture.
7 Celebrating love
Perhaps the best and most important reason of all, is to celebrate your love.
In a vow renewal ceremony, the couple remember the promises they made to each other on their wedding day. In other words, their vows were important to them then, and they are important now. Renewing them enables the couple to re-affirm their love, as they embark on the next stage of their married life together.
So, a vow renewal ceremony is more than a celebration of the love of a couple. It is also a celebration of family and friends. Many couples use the ceremony as a big thank you to everyone who has loved and supported them over the years, the people who have played a significant part in their lives.
The beauty about a vow renewal ceremony, like all celebrant-led ceremonies, is that you can have whatever you want, whenever you want.
I will always work closely with you to bring your dreams to life, making your ceremony unique, personal and memorable. A ceremony that reflects your journey together to this point, one that reaffirms your commitment to your future life together.
So, whatever your reasons, make your vow renewal ceremony a memorable one!
For my six top tips for writing your own wedding vows – click here !!
For my six top tips for reading your wedding vows – click here !!
I would like to thank Carla and Zeus for allowing me to share their vow renewal ceremony with you.
Also many thanks to the very talented, Somerset Photographer, Chris, for the photos.
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